“In learning to understand ourselves better, we must first understand how we react to the people that surround our lives, whether that be immediate or extended family or acquaintances and then finally work colleagues and the man in the street, how all these people act towards us in one way or another and how we react accordingly.
“If a person is kind and loving towards us it is easy to respond in a kind and loving way back. The test comes when people in various ways behave in an indifferent way, a hostile way. How then do we react?
“Depending on the hurt inflicted towards us, we will almost spontaneously react in a negative way also. Our instinct would be to fight back or to incite harm in some way.
“The right and honourable way must be to stop and take stock of why that person inflicted that hurt and what was their reason/motive behind it?
“If it was because that person is always hateful due to jealousy or spite, then it is our job to not incite a negative response, but one where we learn to stand up for ourselves, so acting in a positive way.
“We must at the end of the day allow ourselves self respect, of which all are entitled to, so by saying our piece and then walking away we allow ourselves a positive strength, so showing the other person that we will not put up with an unnecessary attack on our feelings.
“Many people do stupid things which upset so many. It usually stems from the negative action of fear, where that person ceases to think before they act and that selfishness driven by fear can have lasting harmful consequences to one or many.
“Unless that person finally comes to their senses and changes, or puts right that harmful act, then deep seated injury is then caused.
“Our job is not to allow ourselves to be victim of another person’s selfishness or their hurtful ways.
“We must all learn in some way or another to be as strong as we can and to make that person see they cannot be allowed to ride roughshod over others.
“They have to be made an example of. If we are unable to do this, i.e. stand up for ourselves, we then become the victim and will our entire life be subjected to these types of people.
“It starts in the family and often occurs in the school playground. The bully has caused irreparable damage to so many children because they are allowed to get away with it.
“That bully being a child, if not stopped will grow up to be a bullying adult with all the negativity that they bring to their lives.
“In learning to better understand ourselves and to begin to realise our own strengths and purposes, we can stand up to these people and so over time gain respect from them and situations can begin to change for the better.
“Hurtful people only get away with it because we allow them to, so remember, the stronger we become and behave with a self confidence, so this will deter others becoming hostile towards us.
“Hostile hurtful people are never strong. They are small and fearful. They puff up their own ego to camouflage the weakness they have.
“Their aggression is the subject matter they hide behind. For their fear of being exposed as a weak and puny figure is intolerable to them. They can never allow that to ever be exposed.
“So think carefully and always be on your guard. Have a plan of how to deal with these people in the right and positive way and in time you will see that they have to treat you differently.
“Why? Because you will not allow/entertain their nonsense, you will expose them for the fearful people they really are.
“By standing up to them they will see their hurtful ways do not penetrate you. They will have lost their power. Their effect makes no difference to you in a wounding capacity.
“So in the long run they begin to lose their power over you and you gain the power over them in a respectful positive way.
“Allow yourself thinking and constructive time to understand their motives and then you will always be in a powerful resourceful state and in the end become that better person for it.
“If everybody were to deal with these people by example, they would over time have the upper hand and respectful behaviour will become the order of the day.
“Peace on both sides can be restored and life can continue in a better more loving way. At the end of the day, everybody in one way or another is looking for love and respect in their lives.”
Jenny Ayers
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