“How often have you heard the saying “I sacrificed everything for them and this is how they treat me!”
“The conditions of what we give and when we decide to give is not based on the criteria of thanks or gratitude, but because we decided to give it on the basis of unconditional love. Many of us expect some form of gratitude or appreciation and this is often missed.
“Our lives now are so programmed that it is expected to have or to receive and there is no need to do anything for it. How far removed have we all become in this world of materialism that pain is suffered now by the giver and it has taken the joy out of giving, because it is almost expected.
“Our families tend to be the worst in this scenario, because familiarity breeds contempt and this has become a failing for so long now that if we were to mention it, they, the family, would be incensed at our disapproval of them.
“I believe that we must begin to make a stand and to make it a conscious decision to give only when we feel it is right for that individual to have and not because they, as the family, expect it.
“This will over time bring in respect to the giver and a greater appreciation of what is given is demonstrated. So many of us have lost the vital values of considerations for a persons feelings of those who constantly give and are never appreciated, but is expected of them to give is always in the background.
“It is because they have continued to give over the decades of their life that the receivers still expects this of them. They never think that the giver has sacrificed sometimes immense hardship in order to provide and often at great detriment to themselves.
“So I urge you now, especially where there is great hardship borne to the giver, to now start to consider your own needs, because you do not have a bottomless pit and there must be enough funds left over for yourselves.
“It is imperative that one looks now to ones own interests and self survival and then, if there is sufficient funds left over and there poses no hardship to the giver, then they can continue to give only if they feel it is right to do so.
“We tend to feel it is expected and so we give and never even feel that we are considered in anyway and in this day and age that is so often the case.
“Today, where the economic situation is so dire especially with people on fixed incomes and where they have to account for every penny then, to expect anything from them should be realistically approached.
“Parents often give to their grown up children funds and support when they are left with next to nothing in their own account. In the end it is the role of the giver to speak out and to say that they are not able to give and should their situation change and if it is within their hearts, they will give again.
“This allows for a settling down period to transpire and the receivers then will be grateful perhaps for the first time in ages and an appreciation, not an expectation, becomes the norm.
“The giver must start to take personal responsibility not to allow expectation to be the order of the day. Then peace of mind is restored.”
Jenny Ayers
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