Get Help to Become a Whole and Complete Person 20 March 2010

“What happens to those who enter into relationships without fully thinking it through?

“We all should take time to get to know each other first instead of diving in and then disaster strikes.

“We are often blinded to our own needs and see perhaps that security is the most important in a relationship over love.

“By our own inadequacies this creates a relationship that is not equal and so will be destroyed in the long term.

“We have to learn to grow first in ourselves and to become a whole functioning person.  This is rarely addressed and so we enter blindly into a relationship for the wrong reasons.

“Some require a father figure in their lives, because a father was not really present.  Some a mother figure as they felt devoid of love from a mother and so seek it from their partner.

“If they are weak-willed, then for them a partner who shows strength appeals, for those who are afraid to be without, their criteria becomes money and therefore security is the prime objective.

“So often the reason for entering a relationship is to fill a role that is inadequate within ourselves and therefore a dysfunctional relationship is born.

“The problem doesn’t stop there, especially when children come into the partnership and they then suffer from the inadequacies of their parents and the cycle of dysfunction is propagated and so it continues down the line.

“In the end there are so many dysfunctional people around that it is no wonder that partnerships/marriages only last a few years.

“What is needed is for individuals to get help to sort out their own problems to become a whole and complete person, to be able to stand on their own feet, to feel safe and strong within themselves first.

“Then with that strength are able to choose wisely and when love comes in, the right partnership is formed and becomes long lasting.

“Too often we rush in instead of seeing whether it is truly right for us. 

“The brave person is the one who recognises these inadequacies within themselves and are responsible enough to address their fears and rectify them, so no more damage is incurred to them or a future partner.

“So try not to rush in and begin to see how with taking personal responsibility for our own inadequacies and becoming whole again, then the right person can come in and a much better partnership is formed.

“Jenny Ayers”