“It is so often the case that people do not show their emotions. They prefer to hide behind a mask, which can be funny or just straight.
“Out of fear of disapproval this mask can remain for a lifetime.
“The difficulty that it presents, especially where close loved ones are concerned, is that they do not know what the true feelings of that person can ever be as it is rarely seen.
“Where the person loves another and hides behind their mask unable to reveal their true feelings, it makes it so difficult for others to get truly close to this masked person.
“The relationship is often fraught and uncertainty in the relationship occurs. Do they love me or not? If they don’t show their true feelings how will I ever know?
“Even discussions on emotional subjects can prove most embarrassing and are often laughed off.
“What causes this person to hide and run away from showing their emotions is fear.
“It usually stems from childhood, where parents never showed them true love emotions and would often put their children down, criticising what they did and how they behaved.
“There would be an environment where cuddles and hugs are not given and so the child learns this is how you behave. This is how it must be.
“So when they become an adult, embarking on what they hope will be a loving relationship, they are often found unable to express or even to demonstrate love in a way that can be normal behaviour to most people.
“So in relationships it is difficult for that person to reciprocate, to love in a way that is shown and given to them.
“It could take many years before that individual can begin to show their true feelings and even in a relationship where there is much trust and love and understanding, a safe environment, it will take perhaps even a lifetime to feel safe enough to demonstrate and talk about how they actually feel.
“For those poor people the struggle internally can be great. They would feel very let down, almost abandoned by their parents because they have learned that people do show their feelings openly and this is normal.
“Their emotional confidence is not there, but in time they will learn and begin to accept that in a safe, loving environment, true emotions can be shown and accepted graciously and the loving bond within that unit can grow and in time develop into something more meaningful.
“Their own pain finally being released, they can let down their guard and their mask.
“Peace of mind follows and at last they can be free of their own restraints.”
Jenny Ayers
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